Understanding the world through writing
Using words to unpick the tangle of life Casey helps makes sense of it for us all
Two years ago when my dad first got very, very sick I came across a post on Casey Beros’ Instagram. It was about her dad Jack who had been diagnosed with the terminal disease mesothelioma. I can’t remember what post it was, but I can remember how I felt. I was surprised that she was sharing something so personal and painful on social media. And then I was deeply touched, because she was articulating so much of what I was feeling.
I first met Casey when she published The Bad Girl’s Guide to Better. A non-fiction book where she had gathered all her wisdom of how to live a healthier, happier life. I approached our interview with some skepticism. We live in a self-help-wellness-world where it can feel like every second influencer has something to sell. But just like that post on social media, there was something completely honest about Casey that drew me in. An authenticity at a time when the word “authentic” has been used so much it’s lost its meaning.
And then there she was in my feed - sharing something that touched a painful part of my heart, in a good way. Seeing her develop Next of Kin (hosted here on Substack) made me decide to try using the platform myself - to see if I could also use my words to create some kind of goodness in the world.
Listen to Casey Beros on A Better World Blueprint on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Many people doing good things in the world have been motivated by a painful experience in their own lives. How hopeful it is that humans use their own pain to try and lessen it for others
Casey’s Blueprint:
Some ideas from Casey on how she has lived her life of purpose
Do you have a saying that guides you in life?
“I don't have a famous saying, it's just something that I say to myself and that is ‘why not me?’. I have spent my whole career in fields where the chances of success are very slim and you are frequently pitted against other people, whether it's for your looks or for your talent or for your background or your experience or whatever. There's this constant thing where you’re constantly kind of auditioning, whether that's in publishing or in television or whatever. And I had to take the power back from the people who were like, you're too tall, you're too short, you're too blonde, you're too dark, you're too Australian, you're too verbose, you're too curvy, you're too whatever.
“So I tried to flip that idea of, ‘Why would they choose me?’ and give myself something that felt empowering enough and had enough truth to it that it would help me keep my head above water and drive me forward. So, ‘Why not me?’”
Is there a book, movie or piece of art that has had an impact on your life?
“I would say The Places You'll Go because of the connection to Dad. It was one of our favourite books when I was growing up. He used to read to me all the time. We loved Dr. Seuss, and I think he wrote it in like 1972 or something, and I read it to my kids now and the message in it is still so poignant. It reminds me that life is not this linear trajectory from point A to point B. It's like this spiral staircase of up and down and round, and two steps forward and three steps left and five steps back and down. It's like snakes and ladders, right?
“And I think in business and in life, that's a beautiful message to remember and hold onto because it means; don't get too used to the highs because you're not going to stay there and don't get too used to the lows because you're going to dig yourself out and come back up again.
“And so I kind of live by that and I still love that book. My favourite part of it is that they talk about this place called the waiting place, which is essentially where all of the adults go and they wait until the conditions are right, until it's not raining, until they feel confident enough. And I think that that's so, so incredibly apt in terms of my experience of life and so many people that I know and love.
“We wait until we feel ready, until we feel confident, until we feel like we're skilled enough, until we think that the market's ready for us. And the message of that is don't get into the waiting place, get out of the waiting place. Just start doing the doing, do the doing and the rest will start to make sense.”
What is your favourite thing in the world to do?
“Dance. I love dancing. I'll dance anywhere, anytime. Coles, Woolies in the aisles with my kids. I have absolutely no shame. Car dancing. I'll be on the dance floor all night at a party. I feel it's one of the only times in my life where time disappears. Time goes away and I feel, you know, people talk about being in flow and that's probably one of the only times that I feel it. I feel it when I'm writing and I feel it when I'm dancing.”
What's the best thing you ever did?
“The best thing I ever did was choose my husband. He is the kindest, nicest, most beautiful man you could ever hope to come across. He's all of my friends' pseudo -husband. He is my best friend. He's pretty much the only person I see outside of my children, because that's life with small kids. But you know, I realised a long time ago, and I'm still constantly relearning, thanks to beautiful conversations with my friends, that one person can't tick all of our boxes. But the boxes that I most needed ticked from my long -term romantic partnership and the father of my children was kindness.
“That's my highest value. And that's what I wanted in a partner. He is rock solid. He’s steady, chill, a total cruiser, not overly ambitious, just wants to hang out with his family, do a good job and be happy. And I think that there's something so beautiful about that. Whereas I'm a million miles an hour. I don't know how he lives with me.He's the best decision that I ever ever ever made. Better than winning the lottery.”
What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
“I was in this long -term relationship for around 10 years, on and off, very toxic. And my friends and my family always used to say, you've got to get out of that relationship. They wanted what was best for me and that was definitely not what was best for me. And it wasn't best for either of us in fairness to him.
“But one of mum’s friends said to me, ‘You go back as many times as you need to until you cannot go back anymore.’
“And I really needed that permission. I needed the permission to go back again and again until I had truly had enough. And that point came, many would say, nine years too late, but it came. And when it came, I was truly ready to walk away. And I think that if I had kept on trying to end it for other people, I don't know if I ever would have gotten there. Perhaps I would have stayed in that toxic relationship forever.
“And so I think it's about permission to get there at your own pace, wherever there is, whether it's leaving a job that doesn't feel right or a relationship. And I think that experts in habit change would agree that you have to really be ready to make the change and not be doing it for any other reason other than you're really, really ready. Otherwise it just doesn't stick.”
Listen to Casey Beros on A Better World Blueprint on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Loved this chat with you!