When the only way to work is to do what works for you
Being a mum on the spectrum with ADHD had some very challenging moments, so Allison Davies knew that any work she did had to fill her cup to brimming.
When you meet Allison Davies it is hard to imagine how difficult the world has been for her. She is engaging, charming, funny. But growing up autistic when autism was not understood was not easy. She found a way to mask her neurodivergent brain - to be more like the other kids. Along the way she used music as a regulatory tool to help her manage the overwhelming world around her.
Today you will find Allison teaching people about neurodivergence, singing melodic mantras and generally embracing all the intuitive wisdom she had about the power of music, with the added years of study she put into learning music therapy.
Though I know her path has not been easy, I kinda want to be like Allison. She’s a no bullshit, big-hearted person who not only loves what she’s doing, but is changing lives with the work she does. The truth is, as she explained to me, choosing a career that filled her cup was key to her survival.
While I don’t face the same challenges that Allison does, I feel like it’s something we can all take to heart. What if we chose the work that allowed us to thrive in this chaotic world, work that helped keep us calm and our heart full? What might that be like?
Listen to Allison Davies on A Better World Blueprint on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Allison’s Blueprint:
Some ideas from Allison on how she has lived her life of purpose
Who is the person who most inspires you?
“Can I give you a group of people? I think the people that most inspire me are the ones who are experiencing suppression and trauma and all sorts of pain and grief and just keep going through the motions of life, who keep accessing school if they can, accessing work if they can, going to therapists, finding a new person to help them …
“These are the people who the world currently keeps saying are not resilient because they aren't speaking or they're not going to school or they're not working or they're not able to go and have social experiences, but they're the most resilient of all. They're the actual definition of resilience. And I just think there are so many people who get seen as having a problem that needs to be fixed, but they're just living in a world that is nailing them. I just think those people who are coming back day after day to life and trying are the most inspirational.”
Do you have a saying that helps guide you in life?
“I have a quote that has always stuck with me, but I don't even know where the quote came from because it's not from a real person, it's from a mythical character, it's by Merlin. And the quote is, “Not a stone is there that lacketh in virtue of leechcraft.”
What does that even mean?
“To me, it means that every stone is powerful and is medicinal. Every plant, every thing in the earth, the elements … Leechcraft is like medicine. It's removing an ailment, it's removing a disease or it's taking away the problem, it's fixing. It's the old, old, old version of what we would call medicine.
“So I think it means going outside is medicine, swimming in the ocean is medicine. All the crystals I collect, which I still love to do, even though I'm not, you know, 20 anymore, I still think they're medicine. And so I think that that phrase has kept me connected to the natural world. And I don't know why that phrase is stuck in my head because like you said, it's kind of weird. And if you don't know what it means, you're like, what the hell?
“But I also have quotes, like I say things to myself all the time that I need to hear and then I turn them into melodic mantras because that's what I do with my work. We have an affirmation or a phrase, a potent phrase and then we just sing it melodically. So some of mine that I sing, one that I've been singing for years and years and years is:
“ ‘Every day my courage grows’. And I just sing it all the time and that one really helps. And they're very, very simple. Just things like, ‘I am safe. I am safe’. I help people create their own melodic mantras like that for whatever they need. But I think these days whenever there's a phrase or a quote that I need to remind myself of, it just becomes a melodic mantra and I sing it to myself.”
Is there a book, movie or piece of art that has had an impact on your life?
“Books probably have had the biggest impact in recent years. And before that I would say musical theatre. The music just takes you on an emotional journey and it helps me release emotion. Les Miserables has always been my favourite.
“One of the most important books I've read in recent years is The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Frances Weller. I also love the book Kissing the Hag, which is a book about the archetypes of women that are often met with shame or disgust. It's a really great way of re- relating to all these different archetypes and becoming aware of how much disgust and shame that we hold about ourselves just for being women.”
What's your favourite thing in the world to do?
“I really love hot baths. I would have hot baths all day, all the time. Really, really hot so that when I get in, it feels a bit too hot, but then my muscles relax and I'm soaking. And I will stay in the bath for like two or three hours if I can.”
What's the best thing you ever did?
“There's so many, so many things. The best thing I ever did was be musical on stage as a performer. So whether it was playing the saxophone in jazz bands or being in the wind symphony that I was in … I played Maria in The Sound of Music in the local theatre group.. I love grassroots, community music theater groups.
“And so I've been involved in many local musical theatre shows and I think performing on stage is the most self-loving thing I've ever done and the most fun thing. If I had to choose, I mean, there's so many other things that are great in different ways, but if it's just purely about me and about me having a great feeling, it's about performing on stage.”
What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
“The best piece of advice came from my mum the day Maple was born and she said you don't ever have to apologise for how you parent. Because I was like, I really can't wait for you to hold her, but just don't touch her yet. I'm sorry, but just don't touch her yet. She was only a few hours old. And mum was like, you don't have to say sorry. Don't ever apologise for the choices you make as a parent or for how you parent.”
Listen to Allison Davies on A Better World Blueprint on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.